loved and lost......

i am journalling a bit here due to my brother-in-law's loss of his wife Carol...i have realized after the passing of Carol that it is a blessing to have loved someone and lose them than to not ever know that kind of love...so here is Brian's story about his brother... as it is so well documented ....

Trevor got married quite late in life. He met Carol just under 10 years ago. She was a few years his senior and had a grown up family, a daughter Tanya, and 2 sons Robert and Bruce.. That did not matter to him. For the first time in his forty odd years, he fell in love. Anyone who knows them both wondered how it would work, but I can tell you it did. They truly did love each other and were good for each other. She helped him shed the secluded life he had been leading and they began to travel. . Last year they did the winter tour down to Nevada, Arizona, and California. They both loved that trip and talked about it ongoingly. In mid April they helped father pick out a camper trailer, (at the age of 90 he wanted to try camping as he gets very lonely in his apartment in the summer time when everyone else is at the lake.) Carol was very instrumental in the final selection as she is well known for her good taste. The following week, she could not go with them to pick it up as she was complaining of stomach pains. She had a history of problems with her stomach and no one thought much about it at the time.
Several days later when she had not improved, Trevor took her to the Regina General Hospital Emergency Department. They ran tests and almost immediately had surgery arranged. They found a cancerous tumor in her abdomen and were not able to remove it all. She did not have a healthy day since then. She had the usual radiation and chemo treatments, but had been warned that the treatments may (probably would) not work. Carol never recovered 100% from the surgery and this combined with the radical treatments of chemo proved too much. In early August the surgeons indicated that she would be just buying some time by continuing treatment. She made the very brave decision that if it was not going to be quality time, then why bother and discontinued treatment.
She died on September 7th, exactly 13 years to the day after her first husband had died of cancer.


my affection for Carol grew ..... she loved to talk and had her opinions (for example: if she didn't like a piece of furniture or even the shoes you were wearing she would tell you)... her creativity and good taste showed in her appearance, cars, and home.... she spent her money and loved doing it and we are thankful she shared that love for life with Trevor.



back: Trevor and Carol
middle: daughter Tanya
front: Robert and Bruce

2 comments:

katrina lauren said...

it is hard to understand why some things happen in life...and i suppose all we can do is surrender to it and celebrate and be grateful for every moment, every touch, every smile, even every tear...it is easy to take for granted our lives as we struggle to get through a tough work day or try to cope in times of sorrow and loss....but then i suppose in these moments is when we gain the prespective to appreciate life, and reflect on how fortunate we are just to live, just to breathe! how bittersweet is the story of trevor and carol's love...some people's stories run over 60+ years of marriage, others less in time and some but only a moment but the time frame placed on this love doesn't lessen it's affect, for it changes us forever...like it has your brother-in-law. i hope in the days & years ahead as he grieves the loss of his one true love he can celebrate what she brought to his life and how she changed him forever with her love and her friendship. i am saddened by this loss donna...
xo
K

Donna said...

thank you Katrina, you are a very deep thinking and compassionate young woman. I love your friendship!

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