soft creeping thoughts

i wish the wind would stop, i wish i didn't have this ugly date looming ahead of me... so what to do? i lay in bed this morning and started to think of all of Graham's sad times when i did not think i handled things well {guilty-self-esteem- bashing...get's me know where} and i said to myself after a few minutes of tormenting myself "Donna you are not going down this worn out path..stop it right now". So that is my project for this month is to have new beginnings and to talk about things that make my heart happy and to like me. Tom has gifted me with some wonderful positive reinforcing meditation/hypnosis CD's and they are sooooo relaxing.. the best one so far is "overcoming your grief" I was amazed at how it helped me...of course I combined that with the "Griefshare" program at the East Side Church of God which I participated in last Feb for 13 weeks....was truly a wonderful sharing and learning process {hard to believe that it was wonderful} but the facilitators are so non-judgmental and the videos they presented were very professional. I gained so much insight!
I feel strong entering January and I am blogging this post because I am thinking of my dear friend Sandy, who lost Jason 2 years ago... and her January date this month as well..we met last April in Edmonton and had lots to talk about.... 2008 was a big year for me and it is starting to payoff...all my sharing and learning this last year has made me strong.
My theme this month is about horses and probably about our family skii trips that the boys always loved as we went every year since they were 6 years old to a week long downhill skii vacation to different places in Canada. I am so glad we did all that it was something all 4 of us LOVED and anticipated. So on New Years Day Tom, Brian and I booked our first skii vacation in many years at Castle Mountain for 3 nights and 2 days skii. I am so excited about that. I am ready to go back and enjoy the skiing and love the memories it will bring...i may have to take it alot easier as my aging body will rebel of course but let it rebel...I'm slapping on the skiis!

1 comment:

Catherine said...

You look so blissfull with your horses in the top picture. Animals are so healing for humans aren't they? That is so wonderful you have booked a trip to go skiing with Tom and Brian. Wrap yourself in all those warm and happy memories of Graham and everything else that brings joy to your heart. I wish for you strength and peace from within. My thoughts are with you.

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