the day after

since it has been 10 years, and 1 day, since my eldest son
passed on (he would be 28 years old)
I have posted an entry from my
writings of my son Graham and my book called
The Tall One)

Oh I sure do miss him!
It sucks, but I can at least appreciate other men his age much more now and understand the struggles they may have had to get them where they are or maybe they just have learned to cope.  What is the answer? 

I could have been MORE but I didn’t know MORE and it was a busy pressing life (for me) to look after myself and my marriage and to feed and clothe and love and play and maintain the hearing aids and special needs for both of my boys, and with some of the baggage in my emotional life that was getting in the way, it could have been handled better. Would of..., Could of..., Should of,…too late!  But I keep looking back at the past and keep trying to change it!  I can’t change the past!  I can’t change who I was at that time?  None of us can and that is what I have learned.  I can however, live my best life for Graham and Tom right now….in the present! and that my friends, is the trick.


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